Emergence in integration mode part 3

Since the state of functional freeze develops when the body engages in low, vibrational frequency over a long period of time, moving out of it is complex in nature and involves many layers of processing, releasing, and integrating. It also requires different tools, resources, awareness, patterns, programming, but most importantly, attunement to the body and acceptance of whatever it’s trying to communicate to you.

One of things that’s been the most helpful in moving out of functional freeze and returning home to my body has been reconnecting with a different form of creativity, passion, one where I was able to find joy and simplicity in, no matter how small. This has meant diving back into painting, which has been such a relaxing, surprising way to integrate the depths of expansion my soul has experienced, exactly what my body was asking for.

And for me to realize that oh yes, HEALING CAN BE FUN. Much to the dismay of the heavy Capricorn side of me, the one that only knows healing to be deep, dark, serious, even lethal, perhaps. Never joyous. The audacity to please ourselves through the dark nights of the soul, the horror!

It's important to note here that it’s been 4 years now since I’ve began the process of unthawing, and listening to my body’s excitement of diving back into painting was adding ease and comfort, as opposed to adding more pressure to take something else on in my life and finding ‘another way to heal’ as it would’ve in the past. It’s all about what the body is communicating in the present moment and being able to trust and follow its guidance.

And so, as I emerge once more out of the pattern of functional freeze (aka survival mode), I’m ready to slowly expand again and support others other than myself and my family, all while continuing to thaw and cultivate safety and security within my body (chop wood, carry water, as it’s said).

Tending to the parts of myself day in, day out, all while running a household, carting kids around to daycare and pre-school, and deciding what to make for supper every damn day. Why is this task so difficult?

As my storytelling comes to an end, I must give a shout out to the planet Pluto who has made its way out of the final stages of Capricorn and is now stationed direct in Aquarius, ending a 16-year cycle of old structures, power dynamics, ways of doing things, methods, the way we relate to each other.

This transit is where myself, like many others, can finally see the light of day and breathe a breath of fresh air, even if it’s for a brief lapse of time.

Pluto’s transit in Capricorn has been one that’s so very deeply personal to me, as the work I’m here to do in the world has been born directly from this Capricornian energy and lessons, themes, patterns I faced during this 16-year tenure (but is connected to my entire life as Tanys).

Many like myself have faced the depths of darkness, their soul, their gifts, all while transmuting generational trauma to boot. I solute you, I see you. I feel you.

May this ending set the stage for the next chapter for myself, for you, and for the collective.

Thanks for joining in on my storytelling, and keep on keeping on, my friends.

My schedule is live for the remainder of the year with part-time availability. See my website for session information and scheduling. If you feel called to work with me but are not sure where to start or which session is correct for you at this time, please reach out, and we can figure it out together.

I look forward to journeying with you.