The journey of creating my book, Unveiling
I believe it’s important to share the process of creating art and the story behind it just as much as the art itself. Because the truth is, art in all of its forms is created from the depths of our soul and gives us the opportunity to:
Discover meaning and purpose in our lives;
Connect to our soul’s authentic self-expression;
Heal, grow, transform, and evolve as part of embarking on the journey of healing transformation;
Integrate the experiences we’ve faced, whether from navigating the journey of our human experience or the journey of healing and transformation, or both
Connect, communicate, and collaborate with others;
Share our authentic self-expression with the world—may it be our gifts, talents, skills, and/or abilities;
Contribute to the overall evolution of humanity.
Although the final product of my art isn’t finished yet, the journey of its conception and creation is a significant part to where I’m at in my life right now, and deserves to be shared.
Let’s begin.
The journey of creating this book began in November 2023 while I was in the beginning stages of building my soul-led business and one-day legacy, Emergence with Tanys Kowalski. I had the opportunity to invest in a six-month container that offered a full suite of services dedicated to the journey of writing a book, beginning with its conception all the way to its publication with the overall goal of publishing our book within the six month period.
At this point I had already invested in the creation and branding of my business and didn't have the funds to pay for the container in monthly installments, nevermind in full. However, I knew with everything in me that this opportunity was meant for me and that investing in this container was the next step in my journey. After much consideration between my husband and I, we agreed to invest in the container even though we were unsure exactly how we were going to pay for it. But deep down I knew that I was being divinely guided and the money would show up at some point down the road. Spoiler alert, it did, and in ways we never expected it to.
So, myself, along with the other writers in the container, began outlining the structure of our books in December of that year. The original concept of my book at the time was a guide and memoir dedicated to the human experience that was to be divided into three parts:
Part 1 being the guide portion called The Foundations of the Human Experience, which focused on the systems and structures required for the soul to navigate the journey of its human experience while incarnating on Earth.
Part 2 being the memoir portion called The Foundations of the Human Identity, which focused on the journey of my own current human experience and the development of my human identity (subconscious beliefs, patterns, and relational responses).
Part 3 being the continuation of my memoir called The Foundations of the Human Transformation, which focused on the journey of my human transformation (awakening) and all things that have transpired since then.
The memoir portion of the book was to be written in non-chronological order, separated by themes and bodies of knowledge with storytelling and educational content weaved throughout. Knowing the material from my journals that I’d written over the last twenty years or so would be an integral part of the book, I began revisiting my journals from 2007 onward, typing out all relevant material and sorting it into themes, patterns, and bodies of knowledge. At this point I’d already read them multiple times, took notes, and highlighted and tagged any experiences and patterns that contributed to and influenced the shifts in my identity.
I handed in the first draft of my manuscript April 2024—all 75,000 words of it. My book was double the amount of everyone else’s, which only added to the fear of being too much and that I failed at my life-long dream of becoming an author. The editing process was extremely challenging and triggering and I felt very raw and exposed sharing my whole life story with someone who I didn’t know for the very first time. However, my editor’s suggestions of taking things out, condensing whole chapters, rewriting sections, and asking for clarity were the pain points of me learning the art of storytelling.
At this point most of the writers, including myself, were well into the editing stage and soon realized that our books were evolving past the point of our initial concept and transforming into something else entirely. This meant that none of us were going to meet the publication deadline within the six month period and needed more time to finish our books. The container expired at the end of June with all of us going our separate ways but still working 1:1 with either our writing coach or editor for the remainder of our projects.
A few weeks later I publicly announced the publication of my book with the release date being just shy of two months. Ironically, within days of making the announcement, I realized I needed to pause writing the book and shift my focus to phase two of my business—creating Emergence’s messaging, services, website, and back-end logistics. Although extremely disheartening and gut-wrenching at first to temporarily let go of my life-long dream of writing and publishing a book, I once again knew that this was the next step in my journey.
I launched Emergence to the world in July 2024, which landed me in uncharted territory that was both exciting and joyous, yet overwhelming at the same time. The plot twist I didn’t see coming was that a few months after launching, my body reverted back to the pattern of operating in functional freeze and my capacity to hold energy completely disintegrated. Instead of continuing to ride the wave of momentum like I’d expected, my body and soul were asking me to slow down so I could integrate not only the healing, growth, transformation, and evolution that occurred since the beginning of the year, but also the creation and expansion of Emergence itself.
Leaning into the message of integration allowed me to ‘emerge’ in January 2025 with a new game plan for my book. My editor and I revisited the initial contract we had together from the writing container and drafted a hybrid contract that included the services offered within the container and the services that I’d require in addition to it. We set the new publication date in December 2025 with the first round of edits starting in June, giving ample time and space for the book to be written.
My plan was to start writing again in March, but in the wake of eclipse season, everything came to a halt. I received some unexpected news and was experiencing disruptions in my relationships that transpired as a result of me sharing and speaking about my own personal journey on social media, both of which directly connected to the book and impacted its creation, as it was a memoir about my life, after all.
This disruption led to a multitude of things, but in the context of creating this book, it ultimately led to the decision of whether or not I was to continue writing or end the project altogether. After much contemplation and many soul searching conversations with myself, I decided to continue writing the book and move forward with my long-term goal.
I resumed writing in May, a full year since I last worked on the book. I finished writing Part One in July, where I soon realized I wasn’t going to meet the deadline for the full manuscript we had set at the beginning of the year and needed more time to complete it. After multiple extensions and pausing of writing, I realized in the midst of yet another eclipse season in September there were three main reasons as to why the book just wasn’t getting done:
The journey of creating this book felt like it was coming to an end and that it was time to close this chapter of my life that started nearly two years ago.
I was no longer the many versions of myself who wrote the book and it was time to let these versions of myself go and move forward with the version of who I am today.
The memoir portion of the book had evolved and expanded so much that it was keeping me from moving forward with what I had already completed; the guide portion of the book.
After much contemplation, I made the decision to split the guide and memoir into separate parts and release the guide as a stand-alone piece before the end of 2025, something that I had always originally planned but thought would happen after the entire book was released.
The decision to (temporarily?) let go of the memoir portion of my book has allowed both myself and my editor to stay in integrity, clarity, and transparency of this project and our contract together. It has allowed us to honor the existing contract between us while also releasing the contract and making space for a new one to be created for my future works.
It takes a certain level of bravery and courage for a person to embark on the journey of creation and to commit, devote, and dedicate themselves to their vision. I’m sure appearing delusional and ludicrous at times to others, being committed, devoted, and dedicated to my vision has allowed me to stay in authenticity, integrity, and accountability in the creation of this book.
One of the hardest parts of writing this book has been to hold space for my vision while watching it constantly evolve, shift, and transform; to surrender to the ever-changing timelines within it, and to detach myself from the outcome of the finished creation. However, I knew that I was being divinely assisted, guided, and supported, and needed to trust the path that was unfolding before me.
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This was written in October 2025 with the release date for December 2025. However, in true universal fashion, there was yet another plot twist in November that I did not see coming, in which I had to pause working yet again, leaving the status of completion and publication unknown. And so, once again, I’m sitting in the void of this transition, upheaval, and complete overhaul of my project, which is a reflection of where I’m at in my own personal journey right now. Navigating the depths of my human experience while shifting and transforming my identity yet again - the parts, patterns, and beliefs that make up the human identity.
And of course, it’s in this transition where I will re-emerge from the void yet again and will continue navigating my journey, deepening my trust in the path unfolding before me.