Poem - A Correction of Misdirection
Sitting here this evening, I’ve felt the strong urge to revisit the poetry I’ve written over the years - particularly from 2010 through 2013. I was in my early 20s, going to university, working part-time, and most importantly, in a relationship with someone who suffered from depression (although I didn’t know it at the time). Eventually, his identity became my identity, and it was difficult to separate my thoughts, feelings, and emotions from his.
The most challenging part, however, was seeing the spirit of the person with whom I had shared goals, visions, and dreams slowly dwindle. The signs started to appear slowly, less than a year into our relationship, but, as an almost 19-year-old does, I just brushed them aside and hoped it was just stress from being long-distance at the time, among other things. This was not the case. This poem was about the loss of joy, happiness, and desire my person was experiencing at the time, and all I wanted to do was help. I thought if I could help him, I could help us. But of course, I’d go on to learn that this also wasn’t the case.
***
Title: Correction of Misdirection
Author: Tanys Kowalski
Created: Sept. 2010
Some misdirection
To the correction
Of my faith.
Frame me I stand
Before you.
Take my hand
The same final ending
The completion of another chapter.
Another journey shared with the world
But yet disclosed in secret.
For if it was not a secret, what you desire would be yours
Wishing it all there for you, for me
Not even compromising these words lying on the page.
If these words were knives, they would hurt
Stab you, take a chance.
You should
But you don’t
You could
and you won’t.
Please confide in me
I ask not why, for I know
But is it helping you?
It’s just displacing you from greatness
From the desires that once inspired you
A state in which you lost along the ways of misdirection
To the correction of your faith
Only allowing yourself the spark of joy in private disclosure
Help me help you find your way back again.